The Wonders of a Sensual Massage

A few weeks ago, I was out having a drink with a female friend and as the bottles of wine came and went, we started to talking about how much value we place on penis in vagina penetration in traditional heterosexual ideas of what makes great sex. This we are told, is the root to the big ‘O’ and everything and anything else is just a distraction before the main event.

We then started talking about some of the most erotic experiences we’d ever had. The first thing that came to mind was a sensual massage I’d once received. There had been no penis in vagina penetration and yet I ended up having one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.

It came about through an introduction from a couple I’d once met. They knew I was single and told me about a friend who was also single and a physiotherapist. They gave me his number and we started chatting and got on well. Our talk soon turned to what our fantasies were.

I confessed to him that one of mine was receiving a sensual massage. I knew a few people who’d been to sensual massage classes and raved about them and since then I’d really wanted to try one.

Having a massage is one of my favourite ways to relax and pamper myself. So the idea of a sensual massage was such a turn on. He confessed that he’d always wanted to give a sensual massage as a physio, but never had because he wanted to keep things strictly professional with his clients, which I respected. However, I wasn’t one of his clients and he asked me if I’d like to come along and have a massage with no pressure on it going any further than that, unless I wanted it. This seemed fair and so I agreed.

I arrived at the gym where he had his own physio room and at first it was awkward. The anticipation was clearly there for both of us. Despite having talked about going further than just a standard massage, and began to wonder if either one of us would go through with it.

massage oil

Ann Summer’s Nailah Massage Oil

He left me to get undressed and I hopped up onto the massage table, naked except for a towel covering my lower back. In all the massages I’d had before I’d at least worn a bikini or underwear so the feeling of laying completely naked on his massage down was a turn-on in itself.

He came back into the room and with my head tucked inside the hole in the table, I lay there listening to him moving around and oiling his hands with what smelt like coconut oil. The physio checked if I still wanted to go ahead and when I nodded he laid his hands on the top of my shoulders and slowly began to work his hands all over my back.

His expert hands travelled all over my body and slowly after he’d massaged my back and shoulders, he began to work his way down to my legs, inching the towel up higher so that it just covered the curve of my arse. He carried on innocently, working his hands up and down my legs but then I could start to feel his hands become more insistent and he gently partly my legs so he could massage up the inside of my thighs. This he continued to do for some time and the longer he did it, the more I could feel my body reacting.

Then he pulled the towel off completely and started gliding his hands from my back down the sides to where my boobs were resting on the table, down further to my arse which he began massaging, circling and kneading.

When he stopped to add more coconut oil to my arse, I moved my legs further apart and he took this as encouragement to carry on down past my arse to my pussy. There he spent a long time circling the outside. Using different strokes and a mixture of soft and harder motions he massaged the vulva and in particular the labia. I’ve never experienced anything like it, fingers that was just massaging the area but not inside me.

I could feel that the insides of my thighs were wet and the anticipation became too much and he slipped two fingers inside me. Generally, I don’t enjoy being fingered for too long. Those that I’ve experienced in the past have just left me feeling sore as they jab away at the area. Whereas this was completely different. It was slow and sensual and he moved his fingers not just inside me, but also to the bud of my clitoris and down the sides so that when I orgasmed, my whole body felt like it was shaking and held me for a while until I stopped.

So, yes whilst this did involve some form of penetration, I suspect if I had it again, I’d be able to orgasm without it, simply by having the areas around my vulva massaged, as well as the rest of my body. This proved to me that penis in vagina sex is such a limited and outdated way of thinking about how to have sex and orgasm in heterosexual relations. It’s certainly something I would recommend with a partner to get you in the mood or even when you’re not the mood or on your period but you still want that intimacy of touch.

I even went out and bought myself some massage oil so I could practice myself. I found a lovely one in Ann Summers called Nailah. The one I picked up was Orange Blossom and Cardamom and it’s heavenly. I couldn’t find the exact same one on the website but I did spot that the same brand have massage candles which are in the sale, so I’ll be getting those too. Click the link if you’re interested (not a sponsored post  just love the smell) Nailah Massage Candle 


Exploring the sex party scene

In my last blog post I wrote about how I was beginning to experience ‘sex party fatigue’. The experiences hadn’t been what I’d hoped they would be. I couldn’t decide if it was because of the parties themselves or my mismatched expectations. The more I went, the more I realised that it also had a lot to do with the person I went with. I hadn’t really thought about that when I first started going. I’d only really considered what I’d want from them. So I began to wonder if the sex party scene really was for me after all.

I’d reached a point where I’d sworn off them, that was until I started talking to a friend who’d been on the sex party scene for a while. They suggested that rather than leaving completely, try a different organiser. He told me about a club he was a member of that did parties in London and recommended I give them a try. However, it was a good few months before I actually agreed to go.

eye wide

The infamous sex party scene from ‘Eyes Wide Shut’

There were a number of reasons that I changed my mind and decided to try this sex club. First of, he told me there was a dancefloor with a DJ and bring your own booze. I felt reassured that if I didn’t want to have sex, I could still drink, dance and socialise. He also told me the club had a dungeon. This felt like a space where I could explore my kinks where again the focus was less on sex.

So, a few weeks ago I gave in and went along with this friend. I entered the club through a discreet, unassuming door into a reception area where I registered and they explained a little about what happens. The reception then leads into the main room of the club. On both sides of the room there are seating areas where you can sit and socialise. At the far end there’s a DJ with a strippers pole in the centre of the dancefloor. To the right are the fridges and bar area where you can bring your own alcohol, make drinks and store your booze. There’s also a locker and changing area to get into your fancy lingerie.

The club sits across three floors and I decided to explore the top floor first. From memory this mainly consisted of ‘the orgy room’, an entire room sectioned off with curtains and large beds to play. On the night I was there, there didn’t seem to be much play taking place and quite a few people sitting and watching. I’m sure this would have been a fun room to join in with, if there were less spectators.

I then headed downstairs which to the basement where far more people seemed to be congregating. Whilst exploring I found a small room off a kitchen area that was kitted out like a study with an oak table and chair. I loved the idea of all the role plays that have gone on in that room.

Next there was an open area at the bottom of the staircase with beds and seating. At the end of  a corridor there were a number of private rooms, with raised beds and lockable doors. I really liked this idea because whilst for some people, they enjoy being watched or watching, for others that’s not their thing and this offers a bit of privacy or if nothing else, a gentle introduction to ease you in.

Further along the corridor there were rooms with a glory hole, which I discovered when a hand popped out at me and made me jump. There was also a dark room which I assume was for sensory deprivation play.

Then came my favourite room, the dungeon which included a jail/cell with bars and a sex swing. The room was kitted out with all kinds of kinky apparatus including what looked like gymnastics equipment and a St Andrew’s Cross. This seemed to be the main source of play in the room. My friend and I watched as a beautiful young woman was being tied to the cross and played with by her partner and the Master of the Boudoir. Quite a large crowd gathered and it was very sexy to watch.

By this point I was starting to feel unwell, I presume from a burger I ate at dinner because as soon as we left the dungeon I started throwing up. Not the most sexy thing to see at a sex club. So that was my signal to call it a night and head back to my hotel, to stick my head in a toilet.

Looking back I feel that despite it seemingly being another disaster at a sex club with me getting ill and throwing up, I would actually go back again. The Saturday seemed very quite and there didn’t seem to be a lot of play going on that night. My friend did say it was unusually quiet so perhaps it was just a one off, although if I go again I’d be tempted to try a Friday night.

What I also liked about this sex club was that the onus wasn’t entirely on having sex. For someone like me who is still finding their feet in this scene, it was something of a relief. It means the option is there if you want to, but your whole night doesn’t revolve around it.

I’m glad I went along and whilst it didn’t turn out the way I was expecting (I won’t eat burgers before attending a sex club again), it hasn’t scared me off either. So whilst I don’t have any plans to attend a sex club again in the coming weeks and months, now that I have a years membership, the door is still open if I do change my mind and want to explore again.

Have you been to a sex club or party recently? If so feel free to share your experiences below.