A few weeks ago, I was out having a drink with a female friend and as the bottles of wine came and went, we started to talking about how much value we place on penis in vagina penetration in traditional heterosexual ideas of what makes great sex. This we are told, is the root to the big ‘O’ and everything and anything else is just a distraction before the main event.

We then started talking about some of the most erotic experiences we’d ever had. The first thing that came to mind was a sensual massage I’d once received. There had been no penis in vagina penetration and yet I ended up having one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.

It came about through an introduction from a couple I’d once met. They knew I was single and told me about a friend who was also single and a physiotherapist. They gave me his number and we started chatting and got on well. Our talk soon turned to what our fantasies were.

I confessed to him that one of mine was receiving a sensual massage. I knew a few people who’d been to sensual massage classes and raved about them and since then I’d really wanted to try one.

Having a massage is one of my favourite ways to relax and pamper myself. So the idea of a sensual massage was such a turn on. He confessed that he’d always wanted to give a sensual massage as a physio, but never had because he wanted to keep things strictly professional with his clients, which I respected. However, I wasn’t one of his clients and he asked me if I’d like to come along and have a massage with no pressure on it going any further than that, unless I wanted it. This seemed fair and so I agreed.

I arrived at the gym where he had his own physio room and at first it was awkward. The anticipation was clearly there for both of us. Despite having talked about going further than just a standard massage, and began to wonder if either one of us would go through with it.

Ann Summer’s Nailah Massage Oil

He left me to get undressed and I hopped up onto the massage table, naked except for a towel covering my lower back. In all the massages I’d had before I’d at least worn a bikini or underwear so the feeling of laying completely naked on his massage down was a turn-on in itself.

He came back into the room and with my head tucked inside the hole in the table, I lay there listening to him moving around and oiling his hands with what smelt like coconut oil. The physio checked if I still wanted to go ahead and when I nodded he laid his hands on the top of my shoulders and slowly began to work his hands all over my back.

His expert hands travelled all over my body and slowly after he’d massaged my back and shoulders, he began to work his way down to my legs, inching the towel up higher so that it just covered the curve of my arse. He carried on innocently, working his hands up and down my legs but then I could start to feel his hands become more insistent and he gently partly my legs so he could massage up the inside of my thighs. This he continued to do for some time and the longer he did it, the more I could feel my body reacting.

Then he pulled the towel off completely and started gliding his hands from my back down the sides to where my boobs were resting on the table, down further to my arse which he began massaging, circling and kneading.

When he stopped to add more coconut oil to my arse, I moved my legs further apart and he took this as encouragement to carry on down past my arse to my pussy. There he spent a long time circling the outside. Using different strokes and a mixture of soft and harder motions he massaged the vulva and in particular the labia. I’ve never experienced anything like it, fingers that was just massaging the area but not inside me.

I could feel that the insides of my thighs were wet and the anticipation became too much and he slipped two fingers inside me. Generally, I don’t enjoy being fingered for too long. Those that I’ve experienced in the past have just left me feeling sore as they jab away at the area. Whereas this was completely different. It was slow and sensual and he moved his fingers not just inside me, but also to the bud of my clitoris and down the sides so that when I orgasmed, my whole body felt like it was shaking and held me for a while until I stopped.

So, yes whilst this did involve some form of penetration, I suspect if I had it again, I’d be able to orgasm without it, simply by having the areas around my vulva massaged, as well as the rest of my body. This proved to me that penis in vagina sex is such a limited and outdated way of thinking about how to have sex and orgasm in heterosexual relations. It’s certainly something I would recommend with a partner to get you in the mood or even when you’re not the mood or on your period but you still want that intimacy of touch.

I even went out and bought myself some massage oil so I could practice myself. I found a lovely one in Ann Summers called Nailah. The one I picked up was Orange Blossom and Cardamom and it’s heavenly. I couldn’t find the exact same one on the website but I did spot that the same brand have massage candles which are in the sale, so I’ll be getting those too. Click the link if you’re interested (not a sponsored post  just love the smell) Nailah Massage Candle