Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence, a classic erotic novel

Lady Chatterley’s Lover

A classic I never get tired of re-reading is D.H.Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

This sexually explicit novel caused a scandal in Britain at the time and saw the publishers Penguin Books put on trial for obscenity.

It became notorious for its explicit descriptions of sex, its use of then-unprintable four-letter words and a reference to anal sex, which was illegal at the time.

Lawrence’s 1928 novel tells the story of a love affair between an upper class woman and a working class man. 

Constance Chatterley’s husband is paralysed from the waist down due to a war injury. Sexually and emotionally unfulfilled in her marriage, she begins an affair with the gamekeeper Mellors.

Lawrence,in this book, writes some of the best descriptions of sexual experience in the English language. He maps the full erotic experience by talking openly and honestly about it.

Lawrence, rather than writing a work of pornography, as some claimed (and still claim) has produced an passionately erotic novel that shows sex should be about pleasure and not shame.

Sex in literature still provokes strong reactions and it was one of the reasons why I wanted to set up this account, to address society’s continued discomfort with these kinds of books.
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BOOK REVIEW – Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski.

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski.

This is one of those books that I wave under the nose of anyone that’ll listen. So let me tell you more.

Come as You Are explores why and how women’s sexuality works, all of which is backed up by groundbreaking research and brain science. The aim, to transform your sex life. A bold claim, certainly but one that recognises that each woman’s sexuality is unique and therefore how we respond is equally unique.

The two models that form the scientific core of the book are what she calls the gas and the brakes or SES/SIS. In short,  it doesn’t matter how sexy the situation is, you’re not going to want to have sex if there’s something putting you off of it. Obvious? Well we’re use to hearing all around us that sex and our desire for it should just come naturally, but as the author states,like anything it takes work and preparation. Not sexy but very true.

The second model is around nonconcordance. This means that just because your genitals are responding to situation, it does not naturally follow that you’re enjoying yourself.

This ties into her model of expecting, enjoying, and eagerness, which describes different stages or types of arousal, and she explains how to use your awareness of it to understand what’s going on with your body. She talks sensitively about trauma, and how with the rates of violence against women, discussing trauma is inextricable from female sexual health (but she does give warnings if you want to skip those sections).

The book is written with a layman in mind, but includes enough science to make it a challenging read for those really want to get their teeth into the research behind her claims.

The author acknowledges it falls short when it comes to the transgender experience, mainly due to the current lack of any meaningful research. That aside, this is a book everyone should read, whatever your sexuality.  It’s a sex-positive book that aims to empower women, by stripping away a lot of the misconceptions and out right lies that we hear in the media and magazines.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5

BOOK REVIEW: Vagina: A Re-education by Lynn Enright

Vagina: A Re-education by Lynn Enright

Vagina: A Re-education by Lynn Enright, explores everything from the labia to the hymen, from the vagina to the clitoris.

Enright acknowledges that today, the word vagina is frequently used when what is really meant is vulva, and this makes it even harder for women to discuss their own bodies.

The book looks at how cultural attitudes have affected women’s relationships with their bodies. She writes about infertility, sexual assault, bikini waxes as well as periods , endometriosis,the menopause and orgasms.

In particular she discusses something 30% of women experience at some stage in their life, pain during penetrative sex.

What the book clearly does, is show how we all benefit from more openness and knowledge about the vagina so many others need not suffer.

I found the chapter on the hymen particularly interesting, because,  as it turns out, it’s not so much a covering but in the majority of people more like a crescent.

What’s also great about this book is that it’s highly readable, as it’s part memoir, revealing Enright’s own stories of sexual assault and struggles with infertility.

Her attempts at inclusivity succed as she concedes that not all women have vaginas, that not everyone with a vagina is a woman, and highlights the lack of data on those people’s experiences while also talking to trans women and men.

This is one of those books that should be handed out in schools. Educators really need to start teaching young people the truth about their bodies instead of omitting any reference to the clitoris during sex education. This book certainly is a great place to start.

5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My TBR pile for August

August to-be-read pile

I’ve been on a bit of a book buying spree this week so i thought I’d share with you guys some of the reads I’ve picked up.

First up is Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman. I seem to be one of the few people who hasn’t seen the film, but I’ve heard great reviews so I decided to start with the novel it’s based on. I’m going in blind, knowing very little about the story other than it involves a relationship that develops between a teenage boy and his father’s assistant.

As I shared on my stories, A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister has been one I’ve been meaning to read for a while. I’m a few chapters in and it doesnt disappoint.

I’ve been looking for an easy read to balance out some of the heavier books I’ve been reading lately so I opted for The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. I was never a big reader of romance novels until lockdown when all I wanted was light reads. I also find I zip through them quite quickly which makes me feel like I’m getting a lot read.

Finally, a book by R. J. McBrien called Reckless. I saw another bookstagrammer reading this and was intrigued to see if it was any good.

Has anyone read any of these or plan to?

Book Review- The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy was first given to me by a friend when we were talking about alternative lifestyles. She said this was THE groundbreaking book to read.

Both Easton and Hardy identify as queer and polyamorous and the authors set out to teach individuals and their partners how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to redefine their relationships.

The book has been significantly updated and expanded from when it was first published in 1997 to include sections on poly pioneers, black poly activism and shifting attitudes towards polyamory.

The conversational style will suit some and not others. Personally I struggled with the writing style but I understand their reasoning for wanting to write something that was less academic and more approachable and anecdotal. For those who know nothing about non monogamous lifestyles this is a great starting point. But if you have more than a passing knowledge, then many of the chapters feel not only repetitive but also dated.

Admittedly as a book about polygamy it is going to bang the drum for non monogamy but, it seems too simplistic in its advocacy of polyamory = good, monogamy = bad. It seems to take for granted that non-monogamy is superior and inherently better. For me it doesnt really address either the emotional side of polyamory focusing predominantly on the sexual side nor does it adequately address boundaries. The issues around jealousy were too simplistic.

Also, if you’re looking for depth this isnt the book for you. What it is is a good book for communication tips in all relationships and not just sexual ones, and advice to challenge views about sex and sexuality. The exercises and definitions are great for novices. Boiling it down, being an Ethical Slut is all about being honest with yourself and with others.

3/5