‘Shibari.’ I first heard this word just under a year ago at a party. I started chatting to a beautiful Italian woman who, when I asked what she did, told me she was a ‘shibari expert ‘.
Immediately intrigued, I couldn’t stop asking questions. What was it? How long had she been doing it? Did it hurt? Did she do the tying or did she prefer to be tied? I knew absolutely nothing about shibari and so when she offered to show me more, I was too scared to say yes. Japanese rope bondage seemed so far out of my comfort zone and with a complete stranger too. But I went straight home and started reading up about it (and began to regret turning her offer down).
Shibari in Japanese means “to tie” and also known as Kinbaku, or “tight binding”. This ancient art form became popular around 1600 in Japan but was used from around 1400 as a method of imprisonment.
Back then I was just starting out on my BDSM/kink journey and I wasn’t quite ready for it until I was approached recently by a man who was keen to introduce me to it. He had many years experience practicing Shibari and I made sure to check out his credentials. He’d been to and continued to go to classes including those at a place called Anatomie in London. I was keen that my first time with rope bondage was with someone who knew that they were doing.
I wanted to experience what it felt like to be tied up and he was keen for someone to practice on so, I became his rope bunny. We have met twice now and both times I’ve greatly enjoyed it, mainly because it was less sexual and more sensual.
During our first encounter he brought with him a large cloth bag with his rope collection and 2 pairs of scissors. Out came a heaving coloured pile of ropes in reds, pinks, purples and browns all of different lengths and thickness. Different ropes were used for different parts of the body, he explained.
He started off by showing me his dominance by forcing my hands behind my back and pushing me down on my knees. He gathered his rope together as I kneeled in front of him and when he was ready he pulled me up, spun me around and flipped me face down, bend over the edge of the bed. A series of firm spanks with his hand followed.
I then found myself blindfolded and for the rest of the experience I just allowed myself to be moved and positioned by him. Not being able to see what he was doing heightened my senses and made me really focus on the feel of the rope against me skin, the pressure as it grew tighter, the slight burn when it was pulled. Then came the ache of my muscles as they were moved into position or tied in ways they’d never been before and held there. The more I relaxed into it and didn’t struggle the better it became.
The feeling of of being helpless was both exhilarating and scary and something I’m keen to learn more and more about. The next step for me, I feel is to start taking classes and learn it in a safe and secure environment because ultimately I’d love to see myself rigged up.