Tag Archives: Dom

Lets Talk about Gags & Pegs

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This is the second visit to my primal don in as many weeks. Each time I see him, he pushes me further and further out of my sexual comfort zone. I let him because he is far more experienced in the world of BDSM than I am and I’m keen to learn.

This way why, when he suggested gagging me with rope and using pegs on me, I agreed. I love nipple play. It’s one of the quickest ways to get me in the period and I’ve been keen for a while to use nipple clamps. My primal dom said there was no need for those fancy nipple clamps, good old fashioned clothes pegs would do just as well.

The pegs were attached directly to my nipples. Even laying down I could feel the weight of them tugging at my nipples. It started off as a sharp pain that became duller and duller as he began to use rope to gag me with.

Like the pegs this was the first time I’ve been gagged with rope. I’ve had hands over my mouth and knickers in their but never rope tided so tightly that I begin to drool and bite down.

The problem is, with the gag so tight I’m unable to speak and therefore to use my safe word when he decides to gently squeeze the pegs on my nipples. I feel a white hot pain shoot through both boobs and I attempt to push his hands away but he thinks I’m play fighting and tries to restrain me. It’s not until I start shacking my head and trying to get up that he reads my reaction and quickly removes the pegs. I have rather large nipples and still the pegs have managed to break the skin on both nipples.

My dom knows what to do and starts aftercare. He covers me with his bed sheets, strokes and cuddles me until I stop shaking. He brings me tea and orders me food and when I’m ready we talk through what had just happened.

I realise that this is as much a learning curve for him, as it is for me. As a new partner he is still learning to reading situations and discover where my boundaries lay and this experience made me realise more than ever, how important communication is between sub and dom.

I know my own body and he doesn’t yet. I know my nipples are incredibly sensitive and probably need less pinching and squeezing. Because these garden pegs aren’t adjustable, they aren’t as flexible and the pressure is, I’d imagine, greater.

Even with his experience mistakes can happen and for me this is all part of exploring the world of BDSM. Needless to say I won’t be using pegs again however, I haven’t given up on nipple play and may just be heading out to buy some proper nipple clamps as I finish this

Meeting a ‘Primal’ Dom

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The deeper I delve into the world of kink and BDSM, the more I learn and the more I discover about myself. Even as I write this I know what a massive cliché that sounds. But this decision to open myself up to exploring my sexuality has only happened very recently.

It was also one of the reasons why I wanted to start this blog. BDSM and kink can seem daunting for an outsider. It certainly was for me. By writing about it I thought I could help others thinking of doing the same, whilst also seeking advice, support and guidance from those that are far more experienced.

This world even seemed to have it’s own vocabulary, so when I met a man who described himself as a ‘primal dom’ I had to go away and look it up. I discovered, without realising it, that many of my previous lovers exhibited similar animalistic tendencies.

According to Kinky a ‘Primal Dom’ is someone who enjoys primal play:

Primal play is a style of BDSM that focuses on raw feelings and actions that are evoked by natural impulses and urges. Social norms and niceties are discarded for a very unfiltered self. The civilized shell gives way to emotions and sexual desire that ranges from happiness, joy, playfulness, silliness, sadness, and grief. It is arguable that one cannot be fully primal out of prioritizing safety and comfort. However, primal play allows the submissive who loves to be fully dominated to experience their fantasy. This practice involves using the kink tools we were born with: nails, hair, teeth, and skin. Primal play is based around the concept of retreating back to the primitive animal persona, where labels and protocols don’t apply. Wrestling, pulling hair back, biting, and growling are some of the many things that fit into this style of BDSM.

As a primal dom, I’m his sub primal prey. At first I bulked at this notion of being someone’s ‘prey’ but when I thought about it, I remembered how in nature, prey don’t just give themselves up to being eaten, they fight back, they run. I liked this idea of not giving in, of being pursued and my dom almost having to prove himself worthy. If he’s going to dom me, he has to show he can and I in return will put up a fight.

So far he’s supported me through this whole experience and is keen for me to know that he’ll take care of everything I need and all I need do is simply do as I’m told. I don’t have to think up scenarios or positions, he has it covered. As someone who used to have a job where she had to be in control at all times, give orders and be in charge of the safety and well-being of others, to give that up is liberating and I feel as if my stress level have decreased massively.  Having said that, I never feel as if I’ve lost control. I can stop things at any time and he obeys. There’s something incredibly instinctual about this kind of sex. Add this to my primal dom’s love of rope and I found I gave myself up completely to him. 

Inside all of us somewhere there is an inner darkness, a need to explore the shadows. Most never dare. With my primal dom I get to do that, I get to feel as if I’m going places that are taboo and sit just on the border of societal acceptability.

If you’re interested in reading more then I found this article illuminating: What does it mean to be primal?

Kinkly website: Definition of primal