About 2 months ago I went to my third sex party. I won’t say where or which party, but they’re pretty famous for organising exclusive sex parties in the UK and elsewhere, with a strong emphasis them being women-led.

The very first sex party I went to, I went with a gentleman who was a veteran of the scene and had been to a number of these parties. I thought he’d be the perfect person to show me the ropes. As it turns out, this wasn’t the case and his lack of curiosity and excitement dampened my first party. I spent most of the night by myself or talking to couples and enjoying the large jacuzzi. Needless to say, it wasn’t what I was expecting. 

The obligatory mask

However, I decided to give it another go and booked my second party, this time outside of London and with a man I knew well but had never been to a party before. The second was a slight improvement on the first. I felt far less nervous and was able to enjoy myself and have sex in front of other people in a play room for the first time. We never got involved with anyone else there, we simply played together and socialised, hardly the out and out orgy I was expecting.

I took a break from the parties for a while after that, left the scene and when I was ready, returned with a new attitude. I realised what I enjoyed most was socialising with equally naughty people, more than having sex at a party.

I was still curious to see if I’d be third time lucky and booked the same party as before, again with a guy who’d never been to a party before. What I quickly started to find was that, by attending these parties you’re not just carrying the weight of your own expectations on your shoulders, but also that of your date. They want to get the most out of the experience and it became clear that he was interested in us both joining other couples.

I took a far more relaxed view that if it happened, it happened and if not, the two of us playing together would be equally as fun. But he took the view that this was something we could do any time and that since we were at a party, we should join in with others.

We briefly played with another woman, but I began to realise, as a crowd started to gather, that I didn’t enjoy being watched. This may sound like a ridiculous thing to say when you’ve signed up to a sex party, but up until this point I didn’t quite realise how uncomfortable it made me feel to have a couple sitting opposite me on a sofa, watching me the whole time or a group of people 10-15 standing over me as I’m being tied up for rope bondage. I found I couldn’t really relax and get into it because I was conscious of their gaze. I felt like I had to perform, when all I wanted to do was get lost in the moment and enjoy myself.

After this party. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t go to any more sex parties. Clearly, I much preferred my sex in private and after 3 parties I’d succumb to sex party fatigue because the truth was, I just wasn’t enjoying it.

Then a friend of mine asked me if I’d like to try a party in London she attends regularly. They’re a well-known sex party organiser, famous for their dungeons. I kept saying no until finally I gave in. What sold it for me was that they had not only the infamous dungeon but also a dance floor and bring your own booze.

Knowing this, I felt the pressure and expectations of having to go to a sex party and have sex, lift. I know many of you might be thinking, well why not just go to a regular nightclub then? I’ve thought that myself and the difference is the attitude and the atmosphere. There’s nothing like being around like-minded people who all share similar interests and desires. The conversations I’ve had at sex parties range from anything from what they do for a living to the kinkiest kinds of sex imaginable and I love that.

So, next Saturday I’ll be hoping my sex party fatigue comes to an end and I find myself enjoying this new party. But I’ll be sure to tell you all about it either way!